


P I R U S

by shadowpercy



Category: Machine Gun Kelly (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Gangs, London
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-09-26 14:52:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17143811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowpercy/pseuds/shadowpercy
Summary: His name alone let's everyone feel fear.She didn't expect him.MGKA MGK Gang fanfic





	1. Knife

Taras p.o.v

Finally. Our classes are over and our holidays have finally begun. For two months I'm a free person. On my way home I meet my best friend Sage. We've known each other for nearly ten years now and know every little secret of each other. 'Hey Tara, wanna come to the club tonight with me and Jonas?'Jonas is Sages boyfriend. They kind of have an on-off relationship. 'I don't know, I have to help in the veterinary hospital.'Oh come on. I don't think that Mrs. Freeman will kill you just because you didn't go to work one day.''Alright, but please don't leave me alone and disappear with your boyfriend in a corner.''Don't worry. We will pick you up at 9.''Bye''Bye see u later.'

At home I made myself and my younger siblings dinner because our mother is still at work. She works as a prostitute even though I told her many times that she should quit. But she doesn't listen and if she does she can't understand everything I say because she's drunk. That leaves me with my younger siblings Anna(6), Fitz (10) and Vanessa (12). Sometimes I feel like I am more than a mother to them than our real mother. I really love my siblings but you can't expect from an 19 year old girl to take care of three younger siblings and the house while studying and working. My siblings and I have all different fathers. We only have the same mother.

After eating everything I let them watch a bit TV while doing their homework. I washed the dishes and began cleaning the floor when something in the news catched my attention. The announcer reported about some criminals. To be more detailed about 'Pirus'. As long as I know Pirus is a gang. No one, not even the police knows the face of their leader. Only his name he presents the world: Machine Gun Kelly. Or in short MGK. In the news it was told that Pirus again hijacked a gun and ammunition delivery to the local police. It was also announced that Alvaro Soler, an spanish gang leader who wanted to establish his business in London, was found dead. They can't prove that it was MGK and Pirus but only assume it.

This MGK-guy really only brings the bad in the city. It's already dangerous to walk alone at night but now when the city is flooded with gangsters and people who want to do unspeakale things to other people you always have to be attentive even at day.

I got ready to go out. A tight black dress which hugged my curves was one of the few things that I own that you can wear to a club. Actually it's from my mother and maybe the only thing that doesn't scream slut on teh first glance. I took my black high heels and my bag and made my way downstairs at the right time because when I came down Miss Lillybeth was already at the door. She's our neighbour at looks sometimes after the kids when me and my mom aren't at home. 'Aunt Lilly'the kids screamed and ran right in her arms.

'Hello you little honeybears. Let's say goodbye to your sister and the continue with your homework and maybe after you've finished it you can have a piece of cake.''Yeaaaaah'

'Bye sissy.''Bye '

Sage and Jonas already waited for me.'Are you readyyyyyyyy.'Sage asked me and I realised that she already began drinkin. 'Sorry she insited on having shots even before we bagn driving to warm up'Jonas said. 'No problem'

It's 11 and the thing that I didn't want to happen did happen. Aren't I lucky?. Sage left me alone. Even though she said she wouldn't .  
Suddenly this place felt really suffocating so I decided that it wouldn´t be bad to get some fresh air. While walking out many people pushed against me and sweaty bodies filled my view. Finally after many excuse mes and pushing I felt the cold night air hit my face and I could finally breathe freely. I decided to walk a bit to calm down completly. But after a while I finally realised that I dien´t exit from the main entrance. It was on of the emergency exits at the very back of the club. After twenty minutes of breathing freely the cold air, I thought that it was time to go back in the club and find Sage and Jonas. But someone stopped me. Moreover the voice of soemone. And that someone was clearly fighting with someone else. And in that night I did two major mistakes. My first mistake was following that noise. Someone was clearly struggling and I needed to know what was happening. One day my curiosity will really kill me. ( If that day is not today). I peeked over the corner in an alley which was located sideways and lead away from the club. It was kind of isolated and if I wouldn´t have been walking in that direction there would be no way that I would have heard whatever was happening there.  
What I saw blew my mind. Two people were fighting with each other. Not that it´s something unusual here but the thing is, these two were already covered in each other or their blood. I should turn around and go away, but I saw one person being tackled down and pinned to the ground. I should go away and find Sage, but the person on the ground somehow got up and pushed the other one against the wall. I should just ignore evrything and mind my own business, but in that moment I saw how one of the persons took out a knife from his back and was ready to stab the other one. My body reacted before my mind. And I yelled: `HE HAS A KNIFE´. The person whose life was in danger used that distraction to pull out a gun and shoot the other person in the head.  
And the person fell on the ground just like a bag of flour.  
My vision got blurry. He just killed that person. I can´t be the only person who heard the gunshot. Why isn´t anyone coming. I am the next one to die. I bet I am the next one. Why should he let me life. My body won´t move. I have to go away as long as I can. But my body won´t move. I feel my breath quickening. The person who shot the other slowly makes his way over to me. In my direction. He´s coming closer. I can´t tear my eyes away from the dead body. I can see him from the coner of my eye. But I am still straing at the dead body.  
´He deserved it´ My body jolts at his voice. Finally I take enough courage to to look the person in the eyes. He´s taller than me. Quite a lot actually even though I am wearing heels. ´W-w-what?´´He deserved death. He was actually a paedophile with a long history of raping and selling young girls. So yes he deserved all of this.` I couldn´t concentrate on his words because I was mesmerized by his blue eyes. And how attractive he actually is. He slowly pushed me toward the back entrance of the club. In front of the door he stopped and turned me around so that I was looking directly at him. He put two fingers under my chin and lifted it up so that our eyes met and got closer to me. I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Even though the night was cold I didn´t felt anything. His warm breath brushed against my lips. He moved his head slowly next to mine until his breath was fanning against my neck. It shouldn´t feel this good. He jsut killed somebody. But why was my body reacting this way. Why was it yearning his touch. His lips brushed against my earlobe until he spoke. And I swear his husky voice sounded like music to my ears. ´Sweetheart, how about we forget everything that you saw earlier. You won´t think about this evening and what happened in his alley. You also won´t think about me and everything else surrounding me. Understood babygirl?´I could only nodd. And with that he made his way and disappeared in the cold night Londons.  
I couldn´t forget him. His fingers and how gently they touched my skin. His breath that fanned against my neck. And his lips that brushed my ear.  
And I did my second mistake of that night.  
I thought of him.


	2. Glass

The next time I saw Sage I was bombarded with questions. I tried to answer them as truthfully as I could without mentioning everything that I saw. I still thought of him, but all those thoughts stayed in my mind and were never spoken out loudly. There wasn't much to do through the whole week. I still took care of my siblings because our mother disappeared again. Let's see if another sibling is on the way. Sage and I were sitting in a café and waited for our drinks. 'Taraaaaaaa'she said while grinning and I immediately knew she something to say. It could be news about her boyfriend or the latest gossip. She always told me everything. Í answered her in the same way that she said my name 'Saaaaaaaaaage.''I have news.''I figured so.''You know what Jonas does as a hobby, he likes boxing. And he told me that this weekend there is a boxing match and he wants me to come. He also said that I could bring you becaus eduring the match he would be occupied, obviousy, and I shouldn't be alone.''Ohhhhh, riiight, one should never leave a friend alone.'I didn't even try to hide the sarcasm in my voice. 'You know I'm sorry for what happened last week. It really wasn't my intention. And you even said that nothing happened. Pleeeeease. Come with meeeeee. Pretty pleaaaaase.'She gave me those puppy dog eyes and in the end I agreed. 'What should I wear?' It was saturday and I got ready to go out. Again. This time I decided to wear something less sexier. Black boots with a heel, black skinny jeans and a black tank top( which actually showed all my curves), and a denim button down with I left open. After taking my bag I saw Sage already waiting in her car. 'You ready?''Yes, where even is this match?'It's a bit out of the city.''Oh ok.'

Arriving at the place where the match will take place, Sage and I make our way to the hall. You could already smell the sweat and feel the heat radiating from the candidates. We looked at the board where the candidates were listed. Jonas'match was going to be in 30 minutes. Right when I wanted to talk to Sage about the match my eyes met another pair. Eyes which I shouldn't remember. Shouldn't even think about. But still I remembered those icy blue eyes which hypnotized me from the first moment I met them. But with the memories of those eyes other ones also came back. How those blue eyes literally killed someone. And that's something you can't forget that easily.

Suddenly I felt really hot. I had to get out. 'Sage I'm going out to get a bit of fresh air, can you already find seats for us?''Yeah, sure.'

The cold air hit my face and this was awfully like déjà-vu. The last time I was alone like this I saw someone being murdered. Maybe it would be better to go in and search after Sage.

I was about to turn around when someone stopped and pressed me against the near wall. I wanted to scream but a hand was put over my mouth. Suddenly I felt another pair of hands tugging at my clothes. I tried to scream, to kick these persons, but all my attempts failed. My button down shirt was yanked off me and I could feel hands trying to tear my tank top. Tears already stained my cheeks and I was ready to give up and wait until everything is going to be over. Suddenly both persons were yanked of me and thrown to the ground. I was too scared to open my eyes and could only slid down the wall and and hold my knees close to my chest. What I heard terrified me. The men from earlier were clearly getting beat up by someone. Their painful groans reached my ears until I couldn't hear anything anymore.  
My body jolted when a hand touched my shoulder. I was going to scream again until I saw whose hand it was. It was that mystery-guy. I still didn't know his name, and only met him once but his presence reliefed me and I immediately felt safer around him.

He looked at me. Kinda worried but also... angry? 'Why are you here? A girl shouldn't walk araound alone in a place like this or things like that happen, or even worse!!!'Why is he angry at me? It's not like I don't know what could've happened. He grabbed my forearm and yanked me back up. My knees still felt wobbly and I knew I would have crashed on the ground if he wouldn't have put his arms around my waist to steady me. 'Thank you.'It was barely above a whisper but he still heared me because his head snapped in my direction and somehow his eyes changed. They didn't look angry anymore but softer. 'Now let's get you home.'

He walked me to his car, a black maserati. On the drive home I messaged Sage that I already went home and that she shouldn't worry about me.

'Sooo, what wee you doing there? You don't look like that kind of girl who would actually go to one of these matches.''I was there with my friend Sage. She actually dragged me there because her boyfriend had a match today.''Which one is her boyfriend?''Jonas''Don't know him.'

We talked more and more and the drive home was really comfortable. We even exchanged number but the moment I wanted to add him to my contacts I realised somethin.'I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!!!' He could only chuckle and that made him only look more attractive, if that's even humanly possible. 'It's Colson. And yours?''It's Tara.''Tara, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.'I cringed internally. But it was alos somehow cute and made me flustered.

When I arrived home I knew that something was wrong because the front door was open. Colson saw my expression. 'Is something wrong?''No, no just the door is open. Maybe my mothe rleft it open. Don't worry.'I think the words were more directed towards myself then to him because I knew what was expecting me once I step a foot inside. 'I will go then. Thank you again for driving me home and everything before.'He smiled and I know that I wanted to see his smile for a long time and not only for an evening. 'If something happens you have my number and can always call me when you want. Even if nothing happens and you just want to talk. I'll be there.'I couldn't stop myself and before my brain processed what was happening I already pressen my lips to his cheek. It was a short peck but still my whole body felt tingly. A blush crept up his cheeks and before he could say anything I ran fastly out of the car and went to my door.

The door was already opened so I only had to push enough to fit through the gap. The first thing I heard was the voice of a man and I instanty knew who it was. Gabriel. My so called step-father. Even though my mother and he weren't married, through all her hook ups Gabriels somehow stayed constant. I hate him. He does not only treat my mother bad but also my siblings and me. If he was here I had to pray that I could go to my room without being noticed. But luck wasn't on my side today. 'What do we have here. Is our little bastard now following the footsteps oh her mother? Where were you dressed like a slut like that?'I wasn't even dressed that provocative but he still managed to find something. 'With a friend.'I only wanted to go in my room but the moment I wanted to take a step towards it he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the table. I'm sure there would be a bruise tomorrow. He made his way towards me but before he could come near Fitz stepped between us. 'Stop it you're hurting her.' Surprise is what took over me because my 10 years old brother countered his fear and talked back to Gabriel. But said person was having none of it. He only pushed Fitz and the boy crashed into my body. Now both of us were on the ground and I could only wrap my arms around my brother hoping Gabriel wouldn't do anything to him. He was now stand directly above us and grabbed my hair painfully. But before he could do something the door bust open and revealed Colson. With fast and big steps he made his way towards us and hovered above Gabriel. He was nearly a head talle than him. 'If I was in your place I would let her go.''And who are you to tell me what to do. Are you one of her hook ups with who she's whoring around'Colson grabbed Grabriels arm and dragged him out of the door. We waited and after a few minutes both came back. Gabriel looked like he had seen a ghost. He hurried around the room and packed all of his belongings. The last thing we saw from his as he went out of the door was a terriefied look at Colson.

'He won't harass you and your family again.'That was all Colson said before going out of the door. I told my brother to wait inside and followed Colson.

'How did you know?'was all I said. 'What do you mean?''How did you know that we needed your help?'He looked at me and I felt like his blue eyes are seeing every part of my soul. 'I saw how you looked at the door and thaught that I should check on you.'He looked to teh side so that I couldn't see his face. This made me curious so I went to him and what I saw made a smile appear on my face. He blushed. 'You're blushiiiing.'I said in a playful tone and he only rolled his eyes. 'No i'm not, it's just cold.''Yeah yeah, whatever you say.'And the he smiled too. 'I wanted to thank you for saving me again.''No problem.' When he made a move to walk to his car I hugged him. I don't know exactly why I did it. Maybe because I was thankful. Or because it was cold. Maybe even because he looked so huggable at that moment and I wanted to know how it would feel to hug him. And what he did shocked me and made me happy at the same time. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. We stood like that for a while. ' I have to go now, and I think you should go back to your siblings, goodbye.''Bye.'was all I said. When I was ready to turn around and walk back in he grabbed my wrist turned me around and kissed me on the forehead. It was a small gesture yet it felt so intimate. He said nothing after that and only got in his car and drove away. I couldn't contain my smile while I walked in and after cleaning up and tucking my siblings in I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	3. Blood

Tired. That's how I felt after working the whole day. Maybe I should go and buy some groceries? I walked to the next store and strolled through the shelves. It had been a long week and there were quite a lot of things that had to be bought. While getting the needed items my mind wandered off to Connor and how he hugged me and kissed my forehead. It may not look like much but for me it was. I walked out with bags in my hands. It was already dark so I tried to walk home as fast as possible. Whilw alking I felt a presence behind me but when I turned around there was no one. I continued walking and right when I wanted to walk around a corner I was yanked back and someone put a cloth on my mouth. I knew what that was. I have seen enough movies to know that I'm going to black out any moment. And then it happened...

When I woke up everything around me was black. I tried to move only to realise that I was bound to a chair. I couldn't move my arms and neither my legs. Where was I? Why did someone kidnap me? It's not like I have done something bad. Why me? Suddenly someone turned on the lights and after my eyes adjusted to the light I could finally see my surroundings. It was something like a cell without any windows. Infront of me stood a man with a sly grin on his face. 'So you're his new bitch huh? He sure got himself something interesting. Say doll, how come a little girl like you met someone like Machine Gun Kelly and is still alive?' Machine Gun Kelly???? When did I met him? 'I'm sorry sir but you must mix up something. I've never met him. Could you please let me go?''Stop deniying it. We have enough prove to know that you mean something to him.''I don't know what or who you're talking abo-'slap. My cheek burned and I could feel the tears threaten to fall. Why did this have to happen to me? I was grabbed roughly by my shoulders and it hurt. I bet there's going to be a bruise later. He threw the chair to the ground and loosened the ropes. Maybe he was going to free me. My hopes were destroyed by a kick right in my stomach. Now I could't hold it back and let the tears fall. The hits and kicks continued until my whole body felt numb. I was silently praying thet this would stop but it didn't. One kick hit my head that hard that became unconcious.

The next time I woke u I was chained to a wall by my wrists. With my body slumped to the ground I tried to cry but the tears didn't came out. Again I was alone in the cell. Why did these people thought I knew a gagster. Moreover THE gangster boss of one of the worst gangs ever. As I know Machine Gun Kelly was the leader of a gang called 'Pirus'. The thought alone that I would have any contact with the leader himself is pretty absurd. I bet they mixed me up with someone else. Suddenly the door was yanked open and it revealed the same man who had hit me earlier. 'Ready to talk now?''I don't know him.'and that answer earned me another slap. 'Now if you don't want to talk how about we send him a little message?'With that the hits and kicks continued but this time he also took a knife out. 'Wh-wh-what are you going to do?'My voice trembled. He let the knife slide over my skin. At first only lightly so that the skin didn't break. But when the knife came to my forearm he pushed. He pushed i in thet deep that my skin broke and the blood started streaming out of the wound. The cut was so deep that it would leave my scar. During the whole process I couldn't contain my screams. I thought I was going crazy. And he didn't stop. He cut over and over again. When my skin strated healing he broke i open. When I was at the brink of conciousness he would throw codl water at me to keep me awake. And he began over and over again. Cut my skin. Let it heal. Cut again. Cold Water. Cut. Heal. Cut.Water. I couldn't even scream anymore. My throat had became so sore from the scream the I could only whimper. Little did I know that the whole process was being recorded.


	4. Tears

Colsons p.o.v

I can't get her out of my head. Her eyes, her hair and her lips. How I want to taste them and discover every part of her body. I want to protect her from this asshole called her step-father and I want to keep her in my arms and never let her go. But I am not good for her. She deserves something better. Someone better. Someone she can have a future with, a family and children. With me the only thing she could get is danger. I guess it's true what they say. Being at the top also means being lonely. Maybe I should check up on her jsut to see if the asshole came back again. Even though I doubt it after telling him who I am and what I am able to do. His face was priceless.

When I arrived at her home I knocked on the door and waited. Why do I feel so jittery at the thought of seeing her again? The door opened but it wasn't the person my heart yearned for. I was greeeted by a blonde woman, maybe in her mid-forties, wearing a black skirt and a red low-cut tank top. Her eye shadow was bright blue which only made her look older.

'Yes, Tally. How can I help you?''Hello mam, is Tara at home?''That ungrateful wench didn't came home for three days. I bet she's out there whoring around. You sugar lips deserve someone who can actually please you. How about you come in for a minute?'She gave me a seductive smile but it didn't look seductive at all. More like creepy. Where was Tara and why didn't she came home? She would've never left her siblings alone. 'Where are your children?''What do you want from them. They're with our neighbor. Apparently i can't take care-'I didn't wait until she finished her sentence and made my way directly to their neighbor. What was the grannys name? Lilybeth? When she opened the door I instantly stormed in her apartment and searched for her siblings. The first one I met was Fitz. 'Hey Buddy, do you rememeber me?''Yes you helped my sister.''That's right. Do you know where your sister is now?'He shook his head. 'She wanted to buy some groceries after work. But she didn't came back. Where is she? Did she leave us?'His eyes began to water and I knew that Tara wouldn't go somewhere without her siblings. Little sobs and hiccups interrupted my thoughts and I saw the little boy cying infront of me. Should I hug him? Tara would have done that. That leaves me no choice. I kneeled down and took him in my arms. 'Hey buddy. I will bring her back I promise.'

I made my way to the headquarters. 'Lewis come here.'Lewis is one of my most loyal and best men. He's also actually my best friend. 'What's up?''I need you to find a person for me. her name is Tara Rutherford.'


	5. Picture

Taras p.o.v

When I woke up I was still in my cell. It was dark and I felt cold. The door opened and the man from earlier stepped in. I mentally prepared myself for what was going to come. He came clsoer and harshly gabbed my chin. ´I give you one last chance, tell me where Machine Gun Kelly is or I am going to hurt you a lot more than the last time.´My body already began to tremble. Why was this man insisting that I knew MGK? Why? ´I really don´t know sir, please let me go.`´Oh you don´t know.`He said in a mocking voice.´I have quite a lot evidence that this is not true.´

He motioned with his fingers to one of his thugs and that one came and gave him an envelope. I hadn´t even realised that someone else was there. The person infront of me opened the envelope and took out something, I assumed pictures. That´s what usually happens in movies. And it were pictures of me and..........COLSON?????

´Oh you remember him now. We know exactly everything about your little relationship with Machine Gun Kelly.´Machine Gun Kelly??? But that´s Cols- don´t tell me that he´s - no no no that can´t be. A voice interrupted my thoughts. ´Wait a minute, don´t tell me you didn´t know you met MGK? You really didn´t???? Just how dumb are you?´ I tried to look away. He was actually right. Just how dumb was I? How did I not know the person who was standing infront of me? He was a murderer, a gangster.... Before I could look in the eyes of my kidnapper again someone hit my head with something hard and I got unconcious.

 

Colsons p.o.v

I was in my office when someone knocked on the door.

Lewis came in.

´Boss, we found her.´


	6. white

Bang bang bang

I heard loud noises coming from outside. I wanted to look. To open my eyes. But I couldn't. I can't move. Slowly I tried to sit up a bit in that uncomfortable chair. My wrists were bound to the chair just like my ankles. I tried lifting my head only to let it fall back down. My whole body hurt. Suddenly there were other noises. Gunshots. Someone was shooting around. I began panicking. Who is it. Are they going to kill me now?

The door burst open and many people stepped in. They were all dressed in black and had masks on their faces. I didn't know what to do. Who are these people? What are they going to do?

Then one of them stepped infront of me and removed his mask. I was met with the face that I desired the most these past days. Even though I had heard so many different stories about him and teh things he does. Even though he did things that let a shudder down my spine. I missed these eyes. I missed him.

'Colson?'It was just a faint whisper that left my lips. You could only hear it when you payed attention. I was just too weak. His hand came to caress my cheek. 'What did they do to you?'He shook his head in a disapproving manner. He untied all my ropes and when they were gone my body fell forward. His arms found their way around me and he pressed me closer to him. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't hug him back. I couldn't move. My head was in the crook of his neck and I let my tears flow. He must have felt them becasue then he moved one of his arms under my knees and carried me bridal style. The only thing I could do was close my eyes and snuggle closer to him.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was white. Only white. Slowly my eyes adjusted to the light and I could finally see where I was. I was in a hospital room. Or at least in something that looked like an hospital room because it had more of an normal room than an hospital room. How did I get here? And then I remember. Colson...the Kidnapper...MGK...the pain... I had to get out of here. Sitting on the edge of the bed I tried standing up only to fall back down due to the pain in my abdominal area. At my second attempt the door opened and he walked in. My eyes met his. Those icy blue eyes I dreamed of so many eyes. But those eyes were also the reason why everything had happened. He started walking closer only to see me backing away on the hospital bed. 'D-d-on't come near me.'My voice came out broken. I was close to tears. 'Tara, I'm really sorry for everything that had happened. I never wanted you to get involved in this. Hell, I should have known that I was being spyed on. I'm so sorry, please you have to believe me.'He streched out his hand to stroke my cheek only to see me flinch. When I opened my eyes again I looked at him and kind of felt bad. He looked like a little puppy that was kicked. 'Colson, I believe that all this wasn't your intention but it happened. You dragged me so much into this that I was being kidnapped and tortured for days. I haven't seen my family, I was in pain and all of this just beacuse I saw a guy and liked him.'He looked at the floor. The silence was now filled with his whisper.

'But would you have liked me at the beginning when you knew who I was? '


	7. Go

'But would you have liked me at the beginning when you knew who I was? '

I felt a pang in my chest. How he looked down while saying those words. In this moment he wasn't Machine Gun Kelly , he was Colson. The Colson that I met and the Colson who awakened a special feeling in me. What scared me the most wasn't the duality between these two men. It was the fact that I didn't had an answer to his question. I don't know. I don't know how I would have racted, I don't know if I would have these feelings I just don't know. I felt helpless. Helpless because I couldn't make a decision which is actually important.

'I don't know.'I couldn't look into his eyes. I don't want to see the hurt look on his face. My heart ached after hearing my own answer. It was painful but it was honest. Colson looked at me for a moment after breaking the silence. 'Understood. I will bring you home.'Something changed. They way he said those words showed no emotion. It was as i someone changed the person standing infront of me. But is it really my fault? Is it my fault that I am unsure of my feelings? It's not like the situation is an ordinary one. He is a criminal. A gangleader. Who knows what he did and what he willl do. I just want to live a peaceful live without having to worry about my life. Just me and my siblings and ........ Colson. But not this way. I had to stop thinking about him. I had to break every string that attached me to him.

We walked out and I took a look at my surroundings. We were in a huge mansion. The place where I must have been lying is soemthing like a mini hospitall in a villa. Around us were many people minding their own business. Some of them looked at me strangely others ... smirked? Oh, they maybe think that I am one of his hookups or something like that. I bet he had many girls before me. But now that I think about it, did he really had me? Were we really that close as I think we were, or as I hope?

Walking ot of the mansion we walked down the stairs. I limped a bit because my body was still hurt and every step resulted in an aching pain. He didn't turn around. Nether did he try to help me, offer an hand. I sat in the passenger seat of his car and he started driving. It was teh worst drive I had in my life. The unbearable silence. Not even quick glances. Not from my side and neither from his. As if we were two strangers, what we actually are.

The car stopped right infront of my home. Now it was the time to part ways with him forever. 'Colson?''Yes?'He looked at me and it was the first time since we stepped into the car. 'Let's not talk to each other anymore. I don't want to be associated with you.''Alright.'This was the last word I heard from him. I walked in and didn't turn around. Didn't look back. I knocjed and Fitz opened the door.'Tara where were you?'He jumped on me and hugged me tightly. 'I-I was just out with a friend. But I should shower now.'Getting rid of all clothes I stepped in the shower and let it all out. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Running my hands through my hair i sli down the wall until I was seated on the floor. Hugging my legs close to my knees. Why did my heart wanted to be with him. Why did I had to meet him. I cried and stayed in that fetal position letting the water ruin on me.

Colsons p.o.v

'But would you have liked me at the beginning when you knew who I was? '

'I don't know.'

One part of me could understand it. My life was dangerous. I was dangerous. She already suffered enough because of me. But another part of me wanted her. Take her. Make her mine and only.

I drove her home. The car ride was silent. Don't they say that love always finds a way? Hell I think I love her. But what can I do to make her stay? Maybe-

'Colson?''Yes?' 'Let's not talk to each other anymore. I don't want to be associated with you.''Alright.'

I watched as she walked ot of the car towards the door. Why did I let her out? Why did I agree? Why didn't I stop her? When she entered I started driving. I speed up. Grabing the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. Why? Why? Why? I could feel a tear run down my cheek.

What did you do Colson?

You just let the best thing that happened to you go.


	8. Help

Colson's p.o.v.

When I drive I see her.  
When I eat I see her.  
The moment I close my eyes the first thing I see is her face. Her smile. Her scent that drives me insane. Why didn't I stop her from leaving. You're such an idiot Colson for letting her go. I should have stopped her. Of course she would be scared. She didn't grew up in this cruel game of power and blood. Unlike me.  
I don't deserve her. Her life is hard enough with an useless mother and siblings to take care of. Dragging her into my life style would only be a burden to her. Actually she's already in. The moment I saved her, the first time I laid my eyes on her her fate was written.  
She would be in danger.

'Colson, hey Colson, yo dipshit.' That made me look up. 'What do you want Lewis?' ' Money, fame, ladies aaaand maybe your attention? We're in a meeting and a special someone is daydreaming again.' 'Oh shut up.' I said rolling my eyes.  
'You're thinking about her right?' Siddenly the mood in the room shifted.  
'EVERYONE OUT.' All men left the meeting room until only Lewis and I were left. 'What do you really want Lewis?' ' I know you're thinking about her. You do all the time. If you like her so much why don't you go meet her. Grow some balls and tell her how you feel.' ' Lewis, know that you're testing my patience. So what do you think? What do you think how I feel? How do you want to know something about my feelings?' What does he think he's doing? Playing psychologist. ' Colson I know you since we were toddlers. I know everything that happens in this stubborn mind of yours and right now I can clearly see that she means something to you. No. You actually fell in love with her. But you couldn't tell her and you didn't even had the guts to ask her not to leave. I'm not telling you what to do buddy but you better hurry. It's been three weeks already and the longer you wait the more miserable you look.' I glared at him. He held his hands up surrendering. 'I'm just honest.' And with that he was gone. I was left alone in the meeting room.

Was I really in love with her? Was I in love with Tara? Even if I was I don't deserve to be loved after all the things I've done in my life. And clearly I don't deserve a beautiful person like Tara.

Three weeks. It has already been three weeks. Three weeks of not seeing her. Should I call her? But wouldn't it be awkward calling her out of nowhere? Maybe I should.  
I took my phone and went to her contact. Why won't my finger press the call button? No I can't. She's probably disgusted of me. And of everything I stand for. And she made no move to talk to me in three weeks. Neither did I.  
I put my phone down and tried to concentrate on the papers in front of me.  
My phone vibrated. I bet it's Lewis. That guy really gets on my nerves sometimes. Looking at the caller ID my breath hitches. Tara. It was really Tara. She's really calling me.  
Should I answer. Don't be so nervous Colson you can do this.  
I answered.  
'Hello?' I tried to sound as calm as possible. But all that calmness was replaced with worry the moment I heard her sobs.  
'Tara? Is everything ok?' Silence. The only thing I heard were her sobs.  
'TARA!' ' C-Colson .... I need your help. Please help me.'


End file.
